It’s an old joke in southeast Texas, “If it’s not the heat, it’s the humanity”. Fact of the matter is truer words were never spoken. Unless robots completely replace humans in the arenas of commerce and education, we will forever be in the “people business” whether we like them (people) or not. Relational skills are foundational to both personal fulfillment and commercial success. It’s the cruelest of ironies that one can invest decades in formal education and work one’s way up from the lowest rungs of the business ladder without ever having received effective training in how to excel in the skills of dealing with the heat of humanity.
For as long as I can remember I’ve been fascinated by the dynamics of human relationships be they personal or professional. My first formal introduction came from the training I received when as a teenager I was recruited by a Dallas insurance company. Local insurance executive, Bob Morgan, was the wise and caring mentor who put in my hands the foundational, self-help work, “Psycho-Cybernetics” by Dr. Maxwell Maltz. From that day forward, knowing oneself and understanding the dynamics of interpersonal actions has intrigued and excited me. Years of experience have reinforced the powerful truths of Dr. Maltz.
Decades later when I became certified as a mediator with the Dispute Resolution Center of Jefferson County the element of heat was introduced in undeniably in-your-face ways as I chose to sit between two adversarial parties who hours before may have threatened to end their property line dispute with a Remington pump instead of across the table from each other in a mediated setting. To be successful in that arena one has to master the skills of active listening, remaining neutral, and, at the same time, influencing the behavior of the angry parties so as to lead them to a mutually acceptable agreement in which each party has some measure of their needs met. It wasn’t long before I was eager to mediate the hottest cases which appeared impossible to resolve. Heat and humanity had never been this much fun!
At the same time, my day job as a bank officer expanded to my becoming the point man for all upset customers from two dozen bank branches. “Yes sir, your truck has been repossessed and you’re on your way to take it back? Please hold and let me transfer you to Mr. Watson”. One might say, I’d found my “calling” to be a peacemaker and help people resolve their differences. They say the Lord works in mysterious ways. Perhaps it was Divine intervention that introduced me to the father of effective listening, participative management, and conflict management, Dr. Thomas Gordon. My company offered a training course in his principles of “Leader Effectiveness Training” and the die was cast. I flew to California, knocked on his office door, and asked him to autograph my book. I sat at the master’s feet, so to speak, and “LET” along with the Holy Bible remain, to this day my reference bedrocks of how to effectively interact with humanity and deal with the “heat”. For the next decade I worked as training director and customer relations coordinator for a retail sales organization dealing while I personally dealt with upset clients and trained staff in the areas of leadership, management, and interpersonal skills. Early on I was dubbed “doc” because they said I fixed things and help people feel better. It’s not a bad summation for what I’m dedicated to accompish.
In the coming months I look forward to the opportunity of synthesizing the wisdom of “book learning” with “life learning” from the down-and-dirty experiences of daily life in the trenches. The practical application of learned truth to the dynamics of real world interactions is my goal and the focus of my efforts here. With humanity comes heat, and how effectively we control our own heat while dealing with the heat of others can very well determine our personal peace and commercial success. In the next edition I’ll begin laying down the foundation for learning to excel at “beating the heat” and helping others become “doc’s” too.
Stephen “doc” Watson is a consultant, trainer, and speaker specializing in the areas of conflict management, problem solving, and interpersonal relations.
Originally published in Beaumont Business Journal, Heat And Humanity Column
