Southeast Texas has spawned many talented and famous people from all walks of life and in a wide variety of disciplines. Author, poet, and philosopher, Mary Karr, is one of the latest and greatest. Having been reared in the shadows of hissing, Mid-County refineries, her childhood years were, shall we say, less than Golden in the Triangle. However, a colorful and (sometimes toxic) gumbo of family, friends, and circumstances molded her into a world-class writer and thinker. Her latest book, “The Art of the Memoir” will assuredly land on the New York Times best seller list and join others she has written. So, how in the Sam Hill could a book about writing memoirs relate to leadership, interpersonal skills, and conflict management?
One of the many secrets behind the curtain in Mary’s latest book is that it is far more than a manual about how to write. It is, in fact, an extremely wise, witty, and heart-felt call to personal accountability and healthier relationships. Exceptional managers are, after all, those who are authentic, transparent, and see their positions as helping agents rather than omniscient directors dragging a long, shadow bag over their shoulders. Great managers are confident enough to trust and honor the judgment and skills of the collective group and who, most importantly, “know how to influence others without the use of power”. And, like others who have shared similar wisdom throughout the ages, Mary points out that “it’s hard enough to see what’s going on without forcing yourself to look through the wool you’ve pulled over your own eyes”! In short, she proposes that recognizing, admitting, and clearly seeing the “truth” about ourselves best prepares us to see and accept the “truth” about others.
It’s a fact of life that that we experience and respond to the behavior of others through our own unique “lenses” of life experiences. And, unfortunately, the way we interpret and respond to others and life’s circumstances is “colored” by our unique “tint”. The more aware we become of our tint, the more truthfully we can “see what’s going on”. And exceptional managers are those with the clearest of lenses and who truthfully interact with their teams. To truthfully interact with our team means we recognize people and situations as they really are rather than through the wool of our personal slights, vendettas, self-inflated egos, and selfish neediness. Job One for an effective leader is personal authenticity which enables us to become personally accountable. And, trust me on this one, teams members will follow an authentic, accountable leader to hell and back and thank you for the experience.
Originally published in Beaumont Business Journal, Heat And Humanity Column
